THEO

My cousin’s adopted daughter decided to return to the Ukraine on her 19th birthday.  What heartache for the family.  All because of a boy she met when she visited last month.

But she won’t listen to reason….

Is that by definition foolishness?  The Bible says foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.  Proverbs 22:15

And we all want to judge her, and yet, every adult has been there. Old enough to do what you want.  “I’m an adult.  No one can tell me what to do.”  Old enough but not wise enough to see the downside to your plan.

My prayer?

• That God protects her through this ordeal on the other side of the world.
• That she’s smart enough to wise up quickly – not over decades.
• That she’s humble enough to confess her plan failed.
• That my cousin is wise enough to love her when she returns.  Love her without a lecture.  Life will have given her the lecture.
• That this is that marker in her life that builds a beautifully firm foundation in her life of devotion to Jesus, the only good and wise King.

Parents, warning,  there is not a formula for raising “good” kids.  Adam and Eve had THE perfect parent, and yet, they rebelled.

If your kids do not rebel, it has more to do with God and them than with your savvy parenting skills.

Your child may not run off to Kiev but brace yourself for something because it is coming.

Then it’s your turn to choose to act like a foolish child or to emulate the good and wise example God gave us in the story of the prodigal son.

Choose wisely….

Fragile people.  We all know at least one.  Most of us want to treat them carefully, kindly, with lots of TLC.

But the problem is that sometimes fragile people are so rocked by their previous hurts, rocked to their core, that they are continually on the look out for where the next attack will come.

And we find what we look for.   Yes, people will attack and be hurtful.  But not all people, and not all of the time.  However, people who don’t mean to attack or hurt are not perfect, and they will make mistakes.  Mistakes that hurt others.

The fragile person scouting for trouble does not have the bandwidth to assume the best in others when those people make mistakes.  Instead, they immediately assume a defensive posture and fire warning shots – not to hurt- but to stop the perceived threat.

Their warning shots may not wound the friend who made the mistake; but nonetheless, damage is done.

People who make mistakes need forgiveness and grace.  Period.

The fragile person does not have the bandwidth to offer grace and forgiveness,  so the fellowship is broken, or at least weakened.

It is difficult to be in a long term relationship with a fragile person because they are constantly scouting for trouble every where.  I think the idiom is “they have a chip on their shoulder.”

It takes fortitude to stay, wisdom to stay, forgiveness to stay.   And it all must be done without any acknowledgement or apology from the fragile person.

Unless we work diligently to stay in community with fragile people, they will become isolated, without ever even knowing why.  But fragile people, maybe even more than the rest of us, need community.  They need faithful friends….

And yet,  people are not robots.  We make mistakes and hurt the ones we love.

Solution?

It’s a careful dance that only the Lord can choreograph.  Bring it all to Him.  Each situation is unique, so one cannot draft a master template that says ‘when A happens, then B.’   Stick close to the Father.  He knows the way.

And as I write this, I recognize that I am the fragile person quite often.  Lord, in addition to helping me carefully and lovingly dance with fragile people, please fortify my soul in You so that

• I will cease and desist from firing warning shots to protect myself
• I will instead overflow with abundance, able to extend grace and forgiveness when another person makes a mistake.

What a terrific reminder to study God’s Word and to be intentional to spend time with Him daily, if not hourly.  Father make it so.

Thinking little of yourself makes it easier to yield to the Holy Spirit for change.  I feel sorry for those with many talents and much success.

First reason?
Because I go soft on myself and hard on others when I don’t.

Second reason?
Satan’s lies always have a little truth mixed in with them, which means we need to be saturated with the Word of God to be able to recognize the difference.  (Warning: It isn’t follow your heart.)

Third reason?

Because I choose poorly when I don’t.  I need wisdom, direction, guidance. And it is best to get it from THE One who knows the beginning and the ending, about all kinds of decisions.

Fourth reason?

Because I want to know God better.  Because I need to know Him more, rather than just hearing about Him from others.  Only by knowing Him better through His Word, can I overcome the patterns of this world and be transformed into who YOU created me to be.  My best me!  This reminds me of 2 Peter 3:18  Peter knew Jesus personally because they lived in the same time and space.  So if I am going to know God and Jesus better, I must enter His time, His space and His Word.  The Bible shows the path.  Proverbs 5:21 “For the ways of a person are in front of the eyes of the Lord, and the Lord weighs all that person’s paths.”

Fifth reason?

Because I am vulnerable to the influences of society that opposes You unless I am continually feasting on what You’ve said in Your Word.  Life is much easier –for a short time – when I give into the fierce wind of secular society rather than trying to stand against it.  Counter-cultural living is hard and requires me to be deliberate.  Fighting the secular influences of this world brings tension to my life.   I must constantly re-calibrate my eyes on the Lord.

Ephesians 6:12-17 NLT

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.  Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.  Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness.  For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.  In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.  Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Biggest reason?  I read God’s Word because I believe  the God of the Universe, Creator and Sustainer of all, has something to say to me.  When I want to hear from Him, such as His opinion about something, I talk to Him and then I read His Word.  After doing those two simple steps, you would be surprised how often He speaks from Scripture that is 2000 or more years old.

People who know me know that I often say, “God told me.”  That doesn’t mean I heard His audible voice. I heard His thoughts, advice and opinions as I read His Word.  They jumped off the page at me!

Try it.  He doesn’t talk to me because I am unique.  He talks to me because I ask His advice and then read His Word to “listen” for His thoughts.

Surreal

In my book, Webster earns a C- he defines surreal as having the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream; unreal; fantastic.  But then again, I didn’t have my first glimpse of understanding of that word at all until 2008 when my oldest son graduated from high school.  Disorienting is an effect of surreal, not a definition of it.  I would never describe that moment as fantastic.

This morning I experienced a new even larger surreal moment when sitting at Church with my 30 year old niece.  Why?  It was her first time at Church since she experienced a medical crisis which left her blind in both eyes.  Our worshiping at Church was not fantastic either.  It was surreal to watch her worship the Lord and laugh at the sermon knowing all she has lost in the last two weeks, a mere fourteen days.  Who was helping who here?

Reminder: God gives grace to those going through trials, not to those watching another go through trials.

I was very thankful during the congregational singing that she couldn’t see me sob as she raised her hand to worship the Lord and invite Him into her life.  It was healing to hear her laugh at Pastor Blake’s silly juvenile jokes which perfectly demonstrated God’s creativity at creation.  I was so thankful for his light-hearted presentation of God’s goodness. It was as if he knew she was in the audience and the gentle touch she needed when hearing a message about God’s gifts to us.

Another surreal memory came when I remembered seeing my birth father after not speaking to him for 32 years.  And then another when I attended his funeral last November.

I even found it surreal when my youngest son married three years ago.  I felt the same feeling during the weeks following the unexpected and sudden death of my beloved adopted father.  Okay, Webster got part of it right, it was disorienting.

They can’t hear you.

My family is a big fan of the character Gibbs on the TV show NCIS; Gibbs with his list of rules.

His list caused me to develop my own.  Threadgill rule number 9: people can’t hear a large percentage of what you say—even if said directly to them, even if said multiple times, even if said at escalating volumes.

We held our annual THEO graduation on Saturday.  Graduation was a success, which isn’t a surprise since preparations last nearly nine months.  As always, it was shocking to hear the parents at rehearsal.  “Oh, I am going to give the student their diploma?”  “Oh, rehearsal started at 8:55?” “My husband and I are going to be on the stage?”   It doesn’t matter how many times and ways I try to tell them, some of these parents cannot hear what our THEO graduation looks like until they experience it.

The parents paid money to join this event. It wasn’t forced upon anyone. They choose to sign up, even filled out a special graduation application form, and still, they didn’t know what they signed up for because their ears cannot hear.

How often do I do the same thing?  Sign up for something without knowing what I have committed to because I cannot hear other people?

Working with teenagers every day, I am used to not being heard; nonetheless, it is always surprising when confronted with the fact adults cannot hear me either.  Warning: They don’t hear you any better than me!

At Church on Sunday, one of my fellow volunteers was admonishing me to talk to one of my sons about a particular early adult issue.  She looked quite surprised when I said I didn’t have any plans to, asking me exactly what I thought my role as parent was supposed to involve.

I started by saying that he is now an adult, in his early 20’s, in fact.  It isn’t any of my business. She said yes, it is. Parents’ job is to warn.  I agreed with her but said his mind is made up. My husband tried to talk to him; my mom tried to talk to him.  He can’t hear us and I am not going to waste energy or breath.  More importantly, the relationship is too precious to me to risk hurting it over something I know he isn’t going to listen to anyway.

Undaunted, she told me a bit of her story, and then again, encouraged me to visit with my son.  She even went so far as to say, “I wish my parents had told me, talked to me more about what they saw as the warning signs in my life when I was in my early 20’s.”  I said to her, gently, maybe they did. Maybe they tried, maybe you didn’t hear them.  She was silent.

At certain points, we have made up our minds and nothing will penetrate our thoughts or plans .  It is like our thoughts and plans are on one set of railroad tracks headed for a point in the distance.  Nothing short of an atomic bomb can blast us off of those tracks. Additional facts are unable to enter the equation in our brain even though our ears work fine.

This spring God used our Bible Study of James to open my ears a bit, to help me unlock my brain and blast my thoughts onto some new railway tracks. My thought patterns are one some new tracks headed to a new destination.

Countless times since January, I have been driving down the road, talking to God about my latest drama when He has broken into my head to connect the dots for me.  Dots between scripture such as James 1:2 “Consider it all joy my brethren when you encounter various trials….”  I have physically turned my head upward, like a child to a parent, “Oh, you mean don’t grumble when the a/c begins to leak at my house on my newly textured and painted walls and ceiling?”  “Oh, you mean don’t grumble when the THEO a/c breaks for the third time this spring?”  Really Lord, this is how you want to spend Your money?

Yes Terri.  This is exactly what that scripture means.

James 1:3

Knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and let endurance have its perfect result.

“Oh, you mean don’t whine aloud, or even inwardly, when situations do not resolve themselves immediately?”

The applications for Rule #9 are endless.  Already it has saved me a lot of time, and breath, not to mention my new destination.  Since God has blasted my thoughts onto new train tracks, we all know new tracks lead to new places.

Have you ever noticed that some people (i.e. me but also others) can talk incessantly, only repeating themselves again and again like an old fashioned record with a scratch? My theory?  At their core they know the truth. No one is listening, a frightening thought.  No one is listening to me, my opinions, my ideas.  If my ideas don’t count, then maybe I don’t count.

No, surely not.  I should repeat myself.  Maybe they were not listening because they didn’t hear me, because they were distracted.  Let me repeat myself—again and again.

I now talk less.

But I also think I have gained a new appreciation for the first of the 12 steps of addiction. I am powerless over other people.

Funny, this sounds like a solid foundation for turning to God, the One who is not powerless.  But that is a topic for another day of exploration…

Imagine the day of your death when you will cease laboring, striving, working here on earth.

At many funerals, one can hear, “He entered into his rest.” For those who believe in heaven, they believe heaven = rest.  Some even use the words interchangeably.

Although heaven isn’t currently a popular topic, rest is. If they are interchangeable, shouldn’t rest be a taboo word as well?

Why not?  Americans are known to burn their proverbial candles at both ends.  We refuse to listen to doctors who tell us to sleep at least 7-8 hours each night although 100% of Americans would say we all need more rest.  “I am tired” is far and away the number one response of THEO students when asked, “How are you today?”    A 1996 paper showed that college/university-aged students got an average of less than 6 hours of sleep each night; less than six hours a night is sleep deprivation.  Sleep deprivation is bad for your health.  Things have not improved over the last 20 years.

I’ve known many who claimed they were good with four hours of sleep a night, wearing it like a badge of success, honor, dare I say pride?

The habit of sleep deprivation applies to Christ followers and unbelievers alike.  When most of us confess feeling tired, why won’t we make a habit of resting more?  Why won’t Christians make a habit of weekly rest when the Bible commands it as one of the Ten Commandments?

Christ-followers and unbelievers both scoff at the idea of resting on Sundays.  Sundays are no longer kept as a day when stores and restaurants are closed.  Today, you can do just about anything on a Sunday that you can do any other day of the week.  Does that matter?

God’s Word tells us in Exodus 31:15    – Six days work may be done, but on the seventh day is a Sabbath of complete rest, holy to the LORD; anyone who does work on the Sabbath day must surely be put to death.

Death over working on the Sabbath.  Is our Master really that harsh?  If it is true that He is harsh, then thank heavens we live in the age of the Church and not the OT Law.

Does the Lord command rest on the Sabbath to be a kill joy?  Is He saying, “I don’t want you to have any fun 1/7^th of your life?”  Is His motive possibly higher?

Exodus 31:7 tells us, “Sabbath rest is a sign between me and the Israelites forever; for in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day he rested and was refreshed.”

I don’t think that verse even does service to His reasoning.

Christians: God is our creator.  We are made in His image.  Who is best at fixing a car? Someone who designs cars and knows engines like the back of their hand. (Pun intended for Isaiah 49:16 tells us that we are inscribed on the palm of His hand.)

Mark 2:27 Jesus said, “The Sabbath is made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”

He GIVES us Sabbath rest as a gift, not as an onerous burden.  This is a gift that most of us refuse to take, including me.

Although a day of rest will improve every human being’s health, I still don’t believe that is our Creators only motive when commanding us to rest on the seventh day.

God rests on the seventh day in Genesis 3, not because He was tired, nor because He needed to recharge.  He rested because the work was complete (and good) and He wanted to point us to a day when constant working will end.  There will be a day.

Holding the Sabbath as holy, set apart from the other six days, allows us to put on the cloak of future days when the race is complete.  Not just my race, but humanity’s race.  When Jesus was on the cross, He said, “It is done.”  Done is not a concept people frequent.  There is always the next thing to capture our attention; but one day, there will be no more next thing, only THE day.

I believe we believers are robbing ourselves of health when we refuse Sabbath rest; I believe we are refusing a good gift that the Lord is trying to give us.  But even more, I believe we are missing out on an opportunity to taste heaven, a place where we will cease laboring, toiling and striving.

Sabbath rest is good for our health.  Sabbath rest is allowing us to taste a future day of heaven.  Sabbath rest allows us to re-center our lives to remember that no amount of work can make us successful.  Remember Psalm 127:1 Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

Consider.

God is offering you a taste of heaven when He gives us the gift of Sabbath rest.  Will you take it?

Wow.  Scott Simon, NPR Commentator,  offers a glimpse into the foundation of the  left’s belief system.  He says that he routinely avoids using the word “evil” in his work as a reporter, although Scott Simon, the parent, cannot always avoid using the words “good” and “evil” when talking with his children.  He says, “I was of a generation educated to believe that “evil” was  a cartoonish moral concept.”

It never occurred to me that people in the  world don’t believe in good and evil.  Good heavens. If they don’t believe in good and evil, then why do the movies so frequently portray good and evil characters?

I cannot fathom how they can NOT believe in evil without putting quotes around it.  However,  liberal thinkers make far more sense to me with this puzzle piece unveiled.  They do not believe in moral realities.  Students and adults,  today do not believe in moral facts; they view them as moral opinions.

Apparently students are being taught moral relativism even in preschool.    The common core asks the students to discern between fact, fiction and opinions.  What about when a fact is also an opinion?  They have their wires all crossed from early on these days.

Dangerous presupposition:  all moral facts are merely moral opinions.   Easily believed when you remove the given of “evil.”

Christians know about evil, believing it to be an objective moral reality.  Dare I say truth?

I am beginning to understand why liberals are quiet when they view the results of the chemical warfare taken against Syrian citizens, adults and children, in April 2017.  It looks like evil.  It seems like evil but  it cannot be evil, for evil doesn’t exist.  To them evil only exists in fiction, in the movie theater.

One cannot view those videos from Syria without acknowledging the presence of evil or feeling very conflicted inside when they cannot acknowledge the presence of evil.  Many may not even know the source of their internal debate and struggle.

No good. No evil.  Just modern reality.

Modern reality?  Is it really so difficult to admit that the act of using chemicals against innocent children and adults is evil?  Isn’t that a baseline on which all of us can agree in a unified chorus?

My reality:

I believe in good for God is good. He is good and He makes rules based upon His opinions for He knows all (Omniscient) and knows the consequences that will come from our actions of evil.  He knows the future and the end; He is the Alpha and Omega. All knowing since before the foundation of the world gives Him the advantage.

Satan is the evil one and our only true enemy.

As believers we must recognize these truths.

PEOPLE are made in the image of God, the Creator.  They may succumb to the Deceiver and believe a lie, but nonetheless, these people have value as treasured people of the Lord.  He created each one of us for a purpose.  He knows us by name.  Isaiah 49:16 You are inscribed on the palm of His hand

Without belief in evil, one cannot have any belief in good.  No wonder depression is rampant.  No wonder suicide is increasing in a variety of age groups.  No wonder people are so angry at Christians when we speak.  They think we are espousing our opinions.  We think we are sharing truth, a cup of cool water with someone lost on their journey to God.

I feel frightened to hear that a “whole generation” believes evil is cartoonish, an adjective which Webster defines as from the root noun cartoon:

a sketch or drawing, usually humorous, as in a newspaper or periodical, symbolizing, satirizing, or caricaturing some action, subject, or person of popular interest

Beware world….no symbolism here….evil is an active verb.